Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
