sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
