Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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