mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
