My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
