is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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