May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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