Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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