and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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