Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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