watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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