You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
