well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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