you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
