Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
