either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
