Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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