I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
