i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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