I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
