Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
