Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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