You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
