We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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