I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
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My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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