You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize