pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
