Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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