i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
