Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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