Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
