sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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