I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
