I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She bit a glass in half.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
