I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
