I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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