I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
