I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
