as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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