I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
