Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
