Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm passing your future prison.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
