dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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