There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
