im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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