Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
