they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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