margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
