the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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