And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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