sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize