so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
