That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like a drive thru vagina
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
