but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
