get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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