i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
