David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize