Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
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