her vagine was all disorganized.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
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he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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