What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize