Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
