If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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