Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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