So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
