you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
