wanna go halves on a baby?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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